Penny for a Thought
by liketolaugh
Summary: Lavi wasn't going to be an exorcist. But Bookman insisted. And then he dumped him with this weird green cube, and how exactly did one negotiate with a spiritual being you couldn't properly talk to?


**A/N: And another oneshot! Now, I got a request a while back for a look at the relationship between Lavi and his hammer. This is part one of this request.**

 **Title: Penny for a Thought**

 **Author: liketolaugh**

 **Rating: T**

 **Pairings: None**

 **Genre: Friendship/Spiritual**

 **Warnings: Mentions of war**

 **Summary: Lavi wasn't going to be an exorcist. But Bookman insisted. And then he dumped him with this weird green cube, and how exactly did one negotiate with a spiritual being you couldn't properly talk to?  
**

 **Disclaimer: Like hell I own D. Gray-man.**

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Deak was never going to understand the old man.

Wait, Lavi. His name was Lavi. He sighed in frustration and frowned at the little green cube he held in one hand. Green grass rustled beneath him, and he overlooked a giant field of the same wavy stuff, all spread out below him from where he sat on a tall hill.

Their next destination was the Order, to monitor the current status of the Holy War. He hadn't said so, but Bookman seemed to think that it would end within the next few years, and unlike with most of the wars they monitored, _all_ of that time was worth watching.

Lavi had assumed that they would do what they normally did, which was to say, hang around and watch from the sidelines, but then Bookman had shown up with this weird cube and told him to negotiate with it and 'don't lie'.

When was the last time Bookman had told him _not_ to lie?

Anyway, he'd learned enough already that he could recognize an Innocence when he saw it.

"What the hell does Bookman want from me?" he asked the Innocence without expecting a response. He shifted, crossing his legs and cradling the Innocence with both hands. "Well, I guess he wants me to talk to you, huh? Don't know what he thinks that'll do." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I'm guessing this means he wants me to become an exorcist. I need your help for that, yeah?"

No response. Lavi hadn't really been expecting one, anyway.

"See, I'm a Bookman," Lavi started, figuring he might as well tell the weird cube his life story. "That means that I go around and keep records of wars, wars no one else sees or hears about." He shrugged. "That's just my job. I mean, I'm supposed to remain neutral, but-" He smirked wryly. "I guess exceptions have to be made for humanity-ending catastrophes. Or maybe the Order is just reticent, refused to let us in without us fighting. I wonder if Bookman has one?" Lavi considered. "Probably. Anyway, the point is, I need you so that I can do my job. Sound fair?"

He waited. The Innocence remained inert, and he frowned at it, faintly disapproving and more than a little annoyed.

"Guess not." He started rolling it between his fingers, frowning up at the sky. "I've been doing this for a long time, you know. I'm not about to stop now just because of a stubborn little cube." The Innocence tingled. Huh. He wondered if it was offended. "It's hard sometimes, I'll admit. Blood and gore to spare around those parts, I'll tell you that much. You don't really get used to it." He snorted. _"Humans._ Can't imagine what drives them to fight amongst themselves. Like _animals."_ He considered again. The Innocence's tingle had died down a little. "Though… I do wonder, sometimes. Those people, they fight _hard._ Why do they do that?"

Lavi started. The tingle was back, stronger than before. He studied it for a moment, then sighed in resignation and returned to his musings, things he'd never admit to Bookman.

"I've wondered for a long time," he continued, "what it'd be like… to be a _participant_ in those wars, instead of just a spectator. They have friends who would die for them. They have a _cause_ they would _die_ for. I don't get it. And…" He hesitated and looked around. Bookman wasn't anywhere in sight. "I kind of wonder… What it'd be like to _make a difference._ There has to be something driving those people, right? So how good does it feel to actually…" He trailed off.

The tingling was almost numbing his hand now.

"I never will, though," he said finally, returning from his internal thoughts. "Bookmen don't do that sort of thing. Er, generally." He dropped his voice slightly, a barely audible undertone. "Doesn't stop me from wondering, though. About the people in the ink, I mean. I shouldn't, but…" He shrugged. "Well, I've never been the obedient sort."

He switched the Innocence between his hands. That almost… hurt. Except it didn't, really.

It felt good, actually.

"Sometimes," he said, slow and hesitant, wondering if he dared say it. "I… kind of wish I could make a difference. You know, stop these things from happening." Pause. "A lot of it is… really bad."

The tingling rose to a crescendo, and Lavi nearly dropped the Innocence but tightened his grip instead. Then, sliding out from between his fingers, it glowed bright green-white and started to morph. Lavi's eye widened.

It was a hammer, small and proud, and new knowledge travelled from Lavi's fingertips to his head.

 _Innocence, activate. Grow._

Lavi smiled, broad and bright. "Big hammer, little hammer, grow, grow, grow!"

With each command, the hammer in his hands grew a little bigger, and so did his grin.

And those secret desires were put aside for another day.

* * *

 **That was actually sort of fun. *smile* But not quite what I think was wanted, and I'M certainly not satisfied with it, so like I said, that's just part one of the request. Part two is going to be a chapter of Synchronization - chapter 10, though we'll have glimpses before that. Thanks for reading, and please review!**


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